To Helna and Back
Author: Havraha
Date Played: March 30, 2011
Story
To Helna and Back is currently one of the most played, most reviewed Foundry missions out there. The vast majority of review rank it as a four- or five-star experience, so my hopes were quite high.
The mission began with a pop-up from my tactical officer, who is concerned about the titular Ensign Helna. Apparently Helna, the ships cartographer, was granted shore leave on Risa, but she’s three days overdue on her return. Tactical officer K’Thegh assured me that this was completely unlike her, and so on his hunch, we decide to go to Risa.
When I arrive, I’m told that I should beam down and start asking about Helns. Here I encountered my first problem with the mission:
Yes, that’s right: a huge map, filled with bunches and bunches of people — and there’s exactly one person relevant to my mission. And of course, he’s a solid run away. So right here, I started to lose any sense of immersion I had — this didn’t feel like an investigation, it feels like a chore I was being led through.
The conversation isn’t much better.
Isn’t this the sort of problem that you, I don’t know, go to Starfleet security with? “Yes, people are being kidnapped, it’s terrible — and I’ve chosen not to tell anyone in any position of power. Woe am I!” Trajan Rangar: expert of uncovering conspiracies that are out there in the open.
Some how, someone had overheard a conversation connecting Helna with the Aligress system, “which was near the Tazi system.” How Havraha handled this — a hat tip to having to go to a preset system, but still making your own — was genius, and one of the best, most unique parts of this mission.
We arrived in what must be the most gorgeous STO system I’ve ever seen.
Unfortunately, immersion-breaking instructions quickly followed suit: I was to search the Aligress system for anything unusual, which out-of-character yellow text informed me meant I should “examine my map for hints as to where to go.” More frustrating was the fact that the mission required I keep flying back and forth across a rather space map. Eventually, my crew uncovered a Klingon satellite, which was in the process of siphoning off geothermal energy from the system’s still forming planetoids and converting it into power for… a cloaked transwarp gate.
Typing that out certainly made the mission much more fun and interesting than I remember it being; at the time, all I could think about was how I was going to have to fly back across the map to a place I had just been.
We detect lifesigns on board, all matching the member species of the Federation. My team and I promptly beam down to investigate.
I encounter several people right off of the bat — and not only will they not tell me what is up, they treat me like trash. And not in a “this is sort of realistic” way, but more like a “kekeke let me suspend your ignorance about what is happening a little longer kekeke” way. By way of example, take the below conversation:
I mean, I assume you’re talking about my missing Helna, but maybe you’re not. And why the lip? As best I can tell, I’ve not done anything wrong. So now I’m annoyed and offended.
As I work my way through this sprawling space station, bit by bit I learn what has happened: the Klingons have been kidnapping civilians with engineering and technological expertize, hoping to use their knowledge to make operational a transwarp gate the Federation had previously abandoned. By accident, the Klingons kidnapped Ensign Helna, who promptly led a workers’ uprising and forced the Klingons off of the transwarp station. She’s been trying to lead this group of civilians, but the group’s old, self-appointed leader, Daniel Hursley, believes that if the civilians could just fix the transwarp gate and let the Klingons have it, then everyone will be allowed to go home. So he’s generally being a dick, despite the fact that it should be clear to everyone that the Klingon’s aren’t going to let anyone go home once the gate is operational.
Collecting this information got on my last nerve, mostly because it brought me into contact with a series of foolish, unbelievable characters. For instance, there is Caitian intently staring a button on the wall, promising himself that some day he’ll push it; an alien that has accidentally superglued his foot to the floor; and a Deltan who is basically keeping an injured Gorn as a pet. All are extremely juvenile, extremely grating conversations.
And then there’s the issue of the voice that my captain is speaking with.
Over at Starbaes UGC, Terrilynn has a great piece on the voice that Foundry writers assign characters. Without belaboring the point too much, I don’t appreciate conversations that make my Cardassian sound as if he is Vulcan. And, yes, using the word “logical” is more than enough to do that.
But worst, worst, worst of all is the aforementioned Daniel Hursley, who is so dense and so vindictive that I am still convinced — even after the mission is over — that he was a Klingon plant. Observe:
To recap: still operating under the extremely wrong premise that “we can all go home,” Hursley decided he would unilaterally repair the transwarp gate. Then he tells me — a Starfleet captain — to shut-up a female officer. The man is willingly committing treason, and still has enough gumption to order me around.
Helna sends me back to the other side of the space station (!), just in time for the Klingons to board and start killing people. Which means I then have to work my way back across the space station for a third time, fighting Klingons the whole time.
As I approach Helna, I discover that each of the idiotic NPCs I encountered previously is dead or dying. Maybe I should feel something, but they were written so terribly that my heart feels nothing, neither sadness nor happiness, for them. I just get angry at the Creator, for making such a hapless world.
In his last and crowning moment of idiocy, Hursley released the Gorn prisoner, who promptly killed him and gravely wounded the Deltan, then picked a fight with Ensign Helna. So I had to kill the Gorn — the Gorn, who with his anger and his limited, animalistic growls, was my favorite NPC.
But no, the mission isn’t over. A small Klingon task force was able to slip through the gate, so I have to fight them off. Three waves of two spawns each later, and my Engineer is telling me that my ship is moments away from exploding, despite the fact that my hull is at 100%. My disbelief: still not suspended.
Is it over yet? Again, no. The Klingons have beamed all of the humans that were on the transwarp gate up to a cargo ship (why didn’t they do this sooner?) and are holding them hostage. But apparently the Klingons don’t believe in shielding or working transporter inhibitors, because my team and I beam over and fight our way through yet another unnecessarily long ground mission.
Finally, finally, finally, I kill the Klingon’s Commander Dron — who was, coincidentally, a good fight — save the civilians, recover Helna, and leave the Aligress system, never to return.
Content, Spelling and Grammar
The spelling and grammar of this mission were generally good, but another proofing would have been beneficial. The mission was rather lengthy, with multiple ground and space combat sequences, not to mention several information-gathering ground tours. Unfortunately, I never lost myself in the mission — each step of the way, I was reminded that I was fighting in a Star Trek Online mission, taking inane and repetitive actions to complete random quest goals. Adding to my displeasure were the mission’s silly characters, which I can only assume were a poor attempt at humor.
TL;DR
Many, many players like this mission. I, however, found it to be long and repetitive, with few redeeming qualities.
